Any father with a child old enough to communicate has said something along the lines of, “If I find out later that you lied it will be worse than if you just tell me the truth.” Kids lie. People lie. In fact, as someone who often talks about spiritual things with people, this is one sin people will almost universally admit to, with some justification of course.
As a father understanding why children lie to you is important. It reminds me of a skit from comedian Louis C.K. (Disclaimer: This embedded video is clean but be careful listening to him in other videos if you try to avoid vulgarities.)
We’ve all been there men, on that road with unfamiliar scenery whipping past the window. Wait, was it the last crossroad or the next. All the while the missus is sitting beside you, the look on her face saying, “Are you just going to stop and ask directions?” Of course not. I’m the captain of this ship.
I must say since the advent of the smartphone I haven’t had this happen quite as often. However, I want today to talk about the directions of life. As the captain of our family, we often don’t want to admit we are on the wrong road. We believe that if we don’t show supreme confidence in our decisions that we run the risk of seeming weak.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. ( 1 Cor 13:11) These words from the apostle Paul need to be in every young father’s vocabulary.
As a young man, I loved games. I loved board games, card games, video games. Ultimately those games that I loved were more about selfishness than they were about relaxing and connecting with those with whom I played.
For the first few years of marriage, I continued to be a “gamer.” My wife and I had a lot of arguments over those times that I would spend in front of a computer screen or out with my friends playing ball. Before you say it, husband, it wasn’t that she didn’t want to let me have fun, it was that I was still doing these activities as though I were a single man. I was neglecting her as well as our young family. I still understood as a child.
As a guy, it is often hard to connect with daughters. I don’t play dress up or do tea parties, so the common interests are usually not there. That being said, as a father of three daughters I do believe it is important to spend time with them one on one, to be their White Knight.
In the spring each year, I attend a daddy-daughter dance with my girls. It is an excellent time to take them out on the town and have fun. It has a dual purpose in my mind however as I am modeling for them what a future date should look like. We dress up. I take them out to dinner. I open the doors and put on their coats. I talk to them about them. You know all the things we want for them out of a potential suitor.
If thirteen years of marriage has taught me anything, it has taught me this, my wife and I are different. Shocking, I know.
Most 1st graders know there is a difference between boys and girls. Of course, we are different physically; it would be tough to procreate if we weren’t, but what I am talking about are some of the other differences that my wife and I have.
When I was a small boy my mother, father and I moved onto a piece of land shared by my grandparents. There were two houses divided by a small yard. As early as four or five years old I would in the middle of the night sneak over to my grandparents’ and crawl in bed with them. My grandfather would complain about my cold feet but my grandmother never let him kick me out, and that started a bond that I still have with her to this day.
I had recently written a post on the journey my family went through with our oldest son. As he started to near adulthood he openly came out against the principles and teaching that his mother and I had spent most of his life instilling in him. I won’t rehash today, but I wanted to give the conclusion and the update to this hurdle of life.
This past Sunday, as I prepared to turn fort… I can’t even type it; I was so blessed to attend the baptismal service of my once wayward son.
It is hard to put into words the feelings and emotion that came to me that morning. After my conversion to Christ, and my wedding day, it was the greatest day of my life.
I AM LOUD, or at least that is what people say. Can you relate? Or do you know a “Loud” person? When I am out at dinner, there are always those looks from the other tables. You know that look, in fact, you may have given it to me.
In the office, there is even a code word used to tell me when I am too loud, Meatloaf.
So how did I get this way? What a silly question. I didn’t get this way. I don’t try to be loud I just am. People act like it’s a disease. Well James, yes he is trying to be quiet. What are we living in a library?
I am a young father, well maybe more like youngish. While we have seven children ranging from High school to newborn, and I haven’t started to think of myself as a grandfather as we have yet to be blessed with any grandchildren. Maybe I should, however.
I recently was challenged with the idea of I am raising my grandchildren. Say what? You just said you don’t have any grandchildren.
Let me explain.
Working late at the office one night, I got the call. “Hun, you might need to come home. I am talking with our son and I’m not sure what to do,” says my wife. “Can you tell me over the phone?” My reply.
“No, not really, can you please come home?” I could hear the distress in her voice.
My mind is racing. I don’t even remember the ride home, but I am sure it was not one that would have been approved by local law enforcement. Bursting through the door I see my son sitting in our dining room, tears in my wife’s eyes.
“What’s going on I ask?”
“You might want to sit down,” replies my wife.
“I am fine would someone please just speak?!”
My son looks at me and drops the bomb, “Dad, I’m an Atheist.”